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Local man claims “If he didn’t have bad luck, he’d have no luck at all.”

"I never win anything" the man told us this morning

When asked if he thought he would be this week’s LOTTO MAX winner Randy Coburn of Cobourg, Ontario told TechBomb “If I didn’t have bad luck, I’d have no luck at all, so no I won’t win s**t.” As the lineup grew at his local grocery store the excitement was palpable for this week’s LOTTO MAX. Randy grunted and asked the cashier for a Quick Pick.

Some lady with too much perfume behind him mentioned the prize catapulted to 73 Million dollars and Randy frowned with excitement as he squeezed a crisp $5 dollar bill. It was at that point the cashier asked if he wanted the encore.

Randy’s wife Bonnie, is a bit disappointed

“I probably won’t even win a free ticket”, complained the part-time snowplow driver. “It’s probably good not to extend my disappointment anywhooo”

With 8 Maxmillions up for grabs he quickly changed his mind “Ehhhh, just gimme the encore then” as he fumbled for a loonie not realizing encore didn’t even matter for Maxmillions prizes.

After hearing that the December 10th draw would offer a jackpot of $60 million Randy and his wife had maintained a tiny bit of hope that last week would be their week, but was relieved to find out that nobody else’s dreams came true.

When Randy returned home his wife Bonnie complained that he bought a quick pick and didn’t use the numbers she “always uses” and affirmed “they better not come up this week or there will be hell to pay.”

“It’s literally our kids birthdays, he can’t tell me he forgot. “12, 31, 05, 19, 07, and 09 + our house number 43.”, said Bonnie. “He’s not the sharpest bulb on the tree.”

Randy quickly decided to get back to his 2009 Ford Escape before the freezing rain was supposed to start and returned to the store to purchase Bonnie’s numbers. Good luck Randy.


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